I don’t like my story!

Grrrr. I am trying to write a longer story – I still find it hard to say ‘novel’ as that seems to pretentious, too grand. But at the moment, I really really don’t like it. Not a bit; not one word, page, chapter or story arc. OK, that is probably a bit of an exaggeration, but only a little bit.

I started writing this story as part of the NaNoWriMo challenge in 2010, this is where you and other like minded people all round the world set out to write 50,000 words in November. The prize? – the satisfaction that you have done it. And it was great; having a target each day, other people to chat to on the forums, encouragement from friends and family. It was a struggle but I got there and got a reasonable first draft out of it, though it was only three quarters done. The last quarter took a lot longer, I couldn’t keep up that momentum, it wouldn’t have been fair on Richard or Katrine and Gregor and the housework seriously needed doing. I was very proud and pleased with my story.

The same story that I now do not like. So what has changed? I think it is a combination of two things:

  • Firstly I have been working on this too long, there have been very big gaps when nothing has gotten done (as we were moving country) or very little progress has been made (settling into said new countries). It is like reading a book and you really love it, so you straight away read it again and again – you not going to still love it.
  • Secondly is to do with me. I am not a completer finisher. I am not great at sticking at things when they get tough and I have the attention span of a butterfly with ADD. I will find anything to put off something I am not keen on, which is  why the clean laundry pile builds up and up and up.

At least I hope it is only those two things and not it is a crap story.

So why do I continue with it? I am writing for fun, though I would love to be a published author (what writer doesn’t) it isn’t a driving factor, I know how unlikely that is, so writing is just for my own enjoyment, one of the reasons I set up this blog (though it also helpful with procrastination). So, as this is supposed to be fun why should I continue with a story I am not enjoying? Some friends are considering trying NaNoWriMo this year, I could give that another shot, all the thrill of a new story, discovering new characters and how you can torment them (happy characters don’t make great stories, there has to be some conflict, I am not just doing it to be mean). But then I would still have a story that needed editing and reworking. At some point I am just going to have to get on with it. Which brings me back to my second reason, I have to face this, even though writing is a hobby, an enjoyable pastime, I have to grit my teeth and plough on, trust in my earlier feelings that my story has some merit and picture the satisfaction when it is finished and I can get a copy printed of my own book, an of course inflict it on family.

Maybe I should say ‘I am writing a novel’ and be proud of it.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dad and Steph
    Oct 11, 2012 @ 19:10:33

    Of course you should, am v impressed, takes lots of determination and confidence to create . . . so keep going. Look forward to reading it : ) Steph xxx


  2. Nigel & Tessa
    Oct 11, 2012 @ 22:21:41

    You should be proud of yourself, its quite a challenge. Do you follow the format of producing and outline, developing characters, expanding the outline, creating chapter headings, etc….. I do think that the initial concept (story) has to inspire you J.K. said she spent months looking for the spark!!! Keep looking and you will know when you find it! Don’t be worried about changing horses if its not working for you.


  3. Deborah
    Oct 13, 2012 @ 03:58:41

    I’ve not even started the NaNoWriMo challenge and I’m wondering if I have tired of my very vague plot concept! I think this is a natural phase and I definitely think you should keep going and finish. Not least because, having proof read a little, I want to know what happens!


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